Drove back home from college for the weekend and i’m laying in the same bed you laid in, feeling so empty. Now im just up at 3am looking at all our memories with tears in my eyes, some memories i can’t even share lol. Only God knows how much i’m still hurting over my sibling. I’m haunted everyday by the image of your corpse in that casket. When I held your hand one last time and it was cold and hard a stone. I’m haunted by the image of your facial expression and thoughts when that car was filling up with water, in the dark. Your last words that no one will ever know. I love you so deeply I sometimes wish I could go back and switch shoes with you just so you could have a better chance at life and not go through the pain you went through. It’s so unrealistic that I have a habit of imagining you just walking through the front door and surprising me like it was a prank. I guess that’s me still in denial half a year later…
I see people with their siblings everyday and they don’t even realize how blessed they are to have their other half alive. And I didn’t know either until i lost them.
Before you passed, I had a friend who lost her brother in 2022 and i would always think to myself, “man if I ever lost my brother idk what I would do with myself, I can’t imagine her pain.” And here I am in 2026, brotherless aswell. Life will really humble you.